Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Internet Hurts: Dumped By A Fellow Blogger


First off, I want to thank Copyboy at Not Worth Mentioning and Mass Hole Mommy for listening to me whine via email about my current state of emotions. There was a blogger I loved who I  somehow must have pissed off. One of the first bloggers I truly enjoyed and followed. We followed each other. Left each other comments. Linked our readers to each others blogs. Followed each other on Twitter. I thought we were gonna be long distance bloggin' buds forever.

Then suddenly today I realized Bloggin' Bud was no longer following me. I also noticed Bloggin' Bud dropped me from the blog roll list. This blogger was done with me. I must have said something wrong in one of my daily comments. I hurried over to Bloggin' Bud's profile to see if there was an email address available. I figured maybe I could apologize and find out what it was I said that was taken out of context. No email address provided. 



I see this happen on Facebook and Twitter. One day I'll have say 202 friends, the next I'm holding steady at 201 and I wonder, who was it that dumped me? Was it that chick from my very first job? Was it that guy from kindergarten who found me and shared awesome details about how he started his own biz from the ground up? Was it that chick who had the same last name as me, yet nobody in our family knew who she was? 




If you're sensitive like me, the internet can really kick your ass. I want a thick skin. I do. I know a thick skin is what I need to survive as a writer, a blogger, an employee, a person. I've blogged about this before, yet still am sensitive to this silly stuff.

For example, we took out a friend for her birthday. I picked out a gift, wrapped it and covered the cost while our other friend was in charge of bringing a few cupcakes to the restaurant. She forgot the cupcakes. I drove us there and felt like I had been the true organizer. You know, the real brains behind "Operation Birthday" for our friend. The next day, I noticed cupcake forgetter received a delightful, "Thank you for the wonderful gift and dinner. It was great" type comment. I however, received none. No props were passed along to me. Not later that day. Not the next day. Not ever.


I know what you're thinking. "Um, why do you care?" But there must be someone else out there that shares in the paranoia behind the 'puter. There's gotta be just one other weirdo out there who feels a bit bummed out when an email or message goes unanswered or a friend no longer wants to be connected.

Emails sent out into a dark abyss. Poured my heart out into a typed message and never received a reply. Did they think what I said was retarded? It's like they're left knowing my true feelings, yet I have no idea how they've interpreted whatever it was I said.


As always, thanks for listening. I love you guys.




28 comments:

Tina said...

You're not alone. I totally get the birthday situation. I presume you won't be doing the same next year? Regarding the dropped follower. This upset me when it happened first, but I guess you can't please everyone right? I'm writing for an audience and not everyone can like my work. The blogging has helped me to accept that. It makes the real friendships all the sweeter.

Ally said...

Thanks Tina. It's nice to know someone out there knows the feeling. And yes, you're right.

Lisa Marie said...

Awww that sucks about the blogger buddy
:( I know for ones you lose you may find new ones that you really enjoy talking to even more!:P
I can not say honestly that I get my feelings hurt in the same way but I can empathize. I notice the FB friend count thing too. I can never figure who dropped me. I figure that means I do not really care. I tend to not get sad, I go right past that emotion to irked. Meehhhhh... Your blog is great so I know you will have great success

Ian said...

You know what. I might look like an ass and rant and rave on my blog and what not but I totally feel for you. But you know what? Way I see it everything happens for a reason. Chances are this person left and I and at least a few others since I posted your award have joined.

I'll do my part to make sure you get some more quality readers your way.

Don't dwell on the negative, although it feels really good to get your emotions out in blog form. I commend you on that. But I commend you even more with your note realizing how great the friends you do have on here are.

You have a friend in me :)

Ally said...

@Lisa and Ian - you guys are so awesome. I know you're right. Again, not to dwell on my lost buddy, but I don't think it was my blog that pissed off the bud. I think it was a comment I left on their blog which is why I feel bad. Our blogs are ours. What we say is up to us. I just don't want to go leaving nasty comments unaware that I'm a jerk. Ya know?

RainyDaySaver said...

You're going to see an ebb and flow of people on your blog -- you can't let it get to you!

TS Hendrik said...

These things happen and they suck. I had an online friend from the days of AOL chat rooms who suddenly just stopped talking back a couple months ago. Couldn't figure out why.

It has a bit of sting to it, but hopefully the fact that others dig on your blog will help those nagging thoughts dissipate quickly.

AngeliStarr said...

awwww! dont feel bad. altho i kno its kinda hard not 2. It sucks 2 lose some1 as a follower/friend. Ive been "unfriend"ed (word of 2oo9 btw...) on facebook and twitter a dozen times, who maybe a thousand times over that. it hurts mostly on twitter. it makes me feel some kinda odd way but i get over it. were not green and of trading value u kno...

feel better!

Ally said...

@TS - yes! I remember chatting on AOL chat rooms. I wonder if they still exist. That does suck :(

@Angeli - I was going to say that, how funny it is that "unfriended" was made a word in 2009. Ha ha!

Kris said...

Ally, if it makes you feel any better that has happened to me before too. And I always wonder who it could have been who deleted me and why would they do that. The way I see it, the people who delete themselves from your life aren't the people you'd want around anyways. The true friends will always be around :)

Mass Hole Mommy said...

Since we talked for a while today, you know how I feel about this. I love, love, love that FB t-shirt. Hilarious!!!!

Betty (picture circa 1951) said...

It just wouldn't upset me that much. Only face to face real life friends doing something like that would bother me. Online you don't always know the people as well as you think. People get hurt and offended all the time. I've been in Yahoo Groups where someone writes something that's offensive to one person and funny to everyone else. Online is so different from face to face relationships. You can't control the way others react, so try not to let it bother you. And whatever you do don't change the way you write because you're very good and very funny!

QuixoticGirl said...

I totally get what your saying. Amen sister friend.

Darrin.. said...

I DO wonder about this sometimes but it doesn't bother me very much. However.. I used to follow a certain blog informally as well as this bloggers tweets. One day I tried to follow the blog officially through Google friend connect, and got a message that they had blocked me.

I couldn't even remember commenting on the blog, so I wondered what the heck I did to warrant a block! I reciprocated by un-following them on Twitter, because really.. if they wanted nothing to do with me.. then what was the point.

Hmmmm.. hope I didn't bum them out by dropping their follower number. LOL! It's a vicious cycle isn't it?!?

Ally said...

I can't believe all of the feedback I've gotten on this post. Thank you so much for listening to me rant. I really appreciate it. Just writing this helped me get over it. :)

Copyboy said...

THANKS SO MUCH!!! I feel so honored. And please, anytime you need an e-shoulder to lean on I'm there.

Kato said...

Ally,

For every one person that dumps you, there are five others waiting in line to get to know you.

Eff the dumpers, you don't need them!

Grgg said...

I just don't get it. I find your blog strangely addictive, mostly because I have the feeling that you're a wonderfully honest person and your personality really shines through in you're writing. I already feel that I know you just in the short time I've been following.

So, I'm not going anywhere, and I know I'm not alone. You still have faithful minions!! ;o)

Tuppence said...

Awww, Ally I completely get where you're coming from. Although what I find even worse than being de-friended on Facebook is when you submit a friend request to someone you always thought you were good friends with and they just don't accept, even though you know that they are on there regularly!

Chin up missus and keep blogging - I'm a new follower and I love your blog!

Tuppence
x

L. Cunningham said...

The birthday issue sucks. I know how you feel. And, thanks for your support with my latest blog.

Rapunzel said...

As someone who is about to go on a date with a fellow blogger and then write about it, I panicked when I saw the title of your post. Was it going to be a tale along the same kind of lines?

Instead its about something even worse! I agree and understand everything you've said!

I do try my best not to analyse everything to death anymore though because the amount I've times I've worried about someone not texting me or replying to a facebook message or whatever and generally it is because of something that is happening in their lives and is nothing to do with me.

Then of course you feel egotistical for even thinking it was about you in the first place!!

www.talesfromthetower.co.uk

Sandi K said...

As my mother once told me when I was very young: it's WAY better to have one good friend than several mere acquaintances. Look at all the friends who've commented so far - you are loved!

LadyJ3000 said...

I too share in your paranoia. Whenever I notice that a Facebook friend has dropped me I rack my brains trying to figure out who it was. I try to rationalize that since I don't know who it was, it shouldn't really matter. But it still hurts a little.

Lisa Marie said...

see you are loved!!!! woohooo:P

lol ur recaptcha word is "hookin" I just had to share that bc it the best one I have gotten yet!

Santa said...

Yep, I know what you mean. Not even so much on the 'puter but in real life, like the birthday thing. Sometimes I get really oversensitive about it, other times I convince myself I don't care if someone apparently doesn't like. If I'm honest, I do care, but it makes me feel so much better to know I'm not alone!

I'm So Pretty said...

I completely understand where you're coming from!!! I started my blog just for me, so I could write out my thoughts on things of interest. I was so amazed to get some followers, but the very first time the # of followers dropped by one, I was mortified. Who had I pissed off? Who didn't like what I was saying? I actually posted an open apology to whoever it was! I post about such a varied list of things - the hurt from my husband's affair, Paganism, couponing, food reviews, books, etc., that I guess some people who might've signed up on one of those topics didn't want to read about the others. Yes, the Internet sets us thin-skinners up for such a "what did I do wrong?" feeling!! I love your blog!!!!

Jane said...

I so want this shirt!!!

ASBLACKASOBAMA said...

Don't let it bother you! I love reading your posts! It's great to have another blog you can relate to...

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