First off, I want to thank Copyboy at Not Worth Mentioning and Mass Hole Mommy for listening to me whine via email about my current state of emotions. There was a blogger I loved who I somehow must have pissed off. One of the first bloggers I truly enjoyed and followed. We followed each other. Left each other comments. Linked our readers to each others blogs. Followed each other on Twitter. I thought we were gonna be long distance bloggin' buds forever.
Then suddenly today I realized Bloggin' Bud was no longer following me. I also noticed Bloggin' Bud dropped me from the blog roll list. This blogger was done with me. I must have said something wrong in one of my daily comments. I hurried over to Bloggin' Bud's profile to see if there was an email address available. I figured maybe I could apologize and find out what it was I said that was taken out of context. No email address provided.
I see this happen on Facebook and Twitter. One day I'll have say 202 friends, the next I'm holding steady at 201 and I wonder, who was it that dumped me? Was it that chick from my very first job? Was it that guy from kindergarten who found me and shared awesome details about how he started his own biz from the ground up? Was it that chick who had the same last name as me, yet nobody in our family knew who she was?
If you're sensitive like me, the internet can really kick your ass. I want a thick skin. I do. I know a thick skin is what I need to survive as a writer, a blogger, an employee, a person. I've blogged about this before, yet still am sensitive to this silly stuff.
For example, we took out a friend for her birthday. I picked out a gift, wrapped it and covered the cost while our other friend was in charge of bringing a few cupcakes to the restaurant. She forgot the cupcakes. I drove us there and felt like I had been the true organizer. You know, the real brains behind "Operation Birthday" for our friend. The next day, I noticed cupcake forgetter received a delightful, "Thank you for the wonderful gift and dinner. It was great" type comment. I however, received none. No props were passed along to me. Not later that day. Not the next day. Not ever.
I know what you're thinking. "Um, why do you care?" But there must be someone else out there that shares in the paranoia behind the 'puter. There's gotta be just one other weirdo out there who feels a bit bummed out when an email or message goes unanswered or a friend no longer wants to be connected.
Emails sent out into a dark abyss. Poured my heart out into a typed message and never received a reply. Did they think what I said was retarded? It's like they're left knowing my true feelings, yet I have no idea how they've interpreted whatever it was I said.
As always, thanks for listening. I love you guys.