Friday, May 14, 2010

Jonas & The Cupcakes


It must have been September, 1994. It's crazy that I somehow remember my college boyfriend G's birthday is September 13. I don't remember anyone's birthdays ever without checking my birthday datebook, yet G's is forever etched into my mind. Maybe it's something about the number 13.

I was obsessed with G. I was obsessed with making G cupcakes. G lived in the dorms and I transferred to a local private college after flunking out for partying too hard. I  insisted on hauling these cupcakes out there on a "school night" I think it was... I convinced my BFF and her boyfriend to come along. We schlepped an entire 54 minutes from Garden City to Stony Brook. When you live on Long Island, Western Nassau to Eastern Suffolk feels like forever, especially in an old "hooptie" (that was what we called old cars back in the '90s).

We're hanging out in the Stony Brook corridor-style dorms. It's all fuzzy to me now, but either he lived with this kid, Jonas or somehow we found our way into Jonas' room.One thing is for sure, Jonas did not want anyone eating any cupcakes in his dorm room.

At first we thought he was joking. Jonas wasn't joking. He grabbed the entire box of cupcakes and tossed them out the window and simply said, "I told you guys. No eating in my fucking room!" Guess we really were in his dorm room and why, I honestly don't recall. Did G room with him? I don't think he did. Maybe G's roommate had a girl over that night? I forget.


After my beloved cupcakes were thrown out the window, I threw a fit. Why? Because G let it happen and actually laughed hysterically over it. Ironically, this is the exact reaction my husband would have if this were to happen today.

Why didn't G stand up for me? Why didn't he kick that little nerdo's ass? Jonas wasn't a big guy. It was one of those times I wished I was a dude. If I were a dude that night, oh boy would I have given that little jerk a beat down.

So there you have it. Perfectly good birthday cupcakes tossed out the window. And no, they weren't homemade cupcakes "from scratch" -- just a $2 box mix from Pathmark. Damn you, Jonas! Damn you G! I'm think I may still harbor some hatred and anger about that night. I'm even mad at my husband knowing he might have reacted the same way.

34 comments:

Pat Tillett said...

I got your back girl! I'm pissed off at any son of a bitch that would waste cupcakes like that!

Bossy Betty said...

I hate hearing of cupcake abuse!!! It's SO wrong!

Ally said...

Thanks guys! I just asked the hubs what he would do if this happened today and he said he'd be pissed! I'm kind of surprised, I really thought he would laugh. I love him. Guess that's why I married him :)

TS Hendrik said...

Cupcake waste! If there is any lower deed known to man, I have no idea what. Tell me where this blaggard can be found and I shall mail him a slap-in-the-box!

Copyboy said...

Guess G wasn't so G-money. At least $2 worth.

Krista said...

G is a gutless wimp who doesn't appreciate a good thing when he sees it! But I do - you can send ME cupcakes and I'll be sure to wear them proudly on my butt!

Ms. Anthropy said...

I agree, it's a crying shame to waste a cupcake! Someone should have thrown him out the window.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Phew! I'm so glad your hubs gave you the right answer. I hope you can start recovering now. But if any of us bloggy friends ever run into G. or Jonas, they better run scared. They are cruel bastards to treat you and cupcakes that way.
xoRobyn

ScoMan said...

If I was walking past a window and cupcakes flew out, all bets would be off. Forget about the 5 second rule, I'm eating those cupcakes.

margg. said...

oh yum.
cup cakes.

i would have been distraught if someone through out my cupcakes.

Maggi said...

Yup, I would have been wicked pissed my BF didn't say anything. lol And yes, would probably still be bitter to this day. lol

Mary said...

I'm so glad I found your blog! I love cupcakes.

I hope you'll follow mine, too. :)

Sara Louise said...

There is no excuse for tossing cupcakes out the window. Jonas is a douche.

Kathie @ Just a Happy Housewife said...

guys are so weird, why waste cupcakes?????

RMb said...

that's a travesty! i know cupcakes are kind of trendy right now, but they deserve to be. i hope he got food poisoning.

~J said...

What a waste of cupcakes?!! That ain't even right!

BigSis said...

I'm guessing the people who had cupcakes land on their heads weren't too happy either :)

LaraAnn said...

That was so rude of him - what a complete jerk. I'm picturing punching the guy for you. Now I'm having cravings for a cupcke - havent' had one in years.

Christiejolu said...

That would have pissed me off ad I would have punched him girl or not!

That is so sweet of your hubby too!

Dancing Branflake said...

Oh my goodness! Definite reason to have a legit fit. Men can be so crazy for no reason.

Marlene said...

I'll tell ya what I would have done. I'd have marched down the stairs - outside to where those freakin' cupcakes landed....picked them all up covered in dirt, grass, whatever, marched right back up to the little turd's room, and forcefed him one by one! JERK!

sara said...

Isn't throwing a cupcake away a mortal sin?! It should be if it's not. Damn it, I'm mad on your cupcakes behalf...and also now want cupcakes.

Ashley King said...

totally with marlene on this one!!! i would have went down and got the cupcakes (and probably cried a little on the way down there, and back up, but wiped away the tears before anyone could have seen that i was actually crying over tossed-out-the-windows cupcakes) went back INSIDE his room and put them ICING down on his floor and bed and everywhere else that would be super hard to clean up.... but i'm pretty sure the ants would find it.... and enjoy it.... jerk. and then i probably would have dumped G for laughing.... stupid G! ;)

never waste sweeeeeets!!!!!!! =)

Amber Von Felts said...

If you were a Dude, you probably wouldn't have brought him cupcakes loL! That was a pretty jack ass thing for him to do though!

The mad woman behind the blog said...

google that ass hat and lets go kick his ass and then leave cupcake crumbs all over his bed!

I'm just saying I'm w/ ya!

Salt said...

For shame!!!! Hearing a tale of cupcake waste makes my blood boil!!!

Joann Mannix said...

Hey, I'm Sept. 12th!

I would have kicked them both in the crotch, ran downstairs, retrieved the cupcakes and while they were still writhing around on the floor, I would have smashed them in their face.

Cause that's how I roll.

Darrin.. said...

$2.00.. so what! They were CUPCAKES!! Sigh... what a waste.

Babes Mami said...

who throws cupcakes out of the window???

ASBLACKASOBAMA said...

Mmmmm.... Cupcakes..... I think throwing cupcakes out the window is illegal in 48 states.... And if they had sprinkles on them, I hear that they can recommend the death penalty....

We have a cupcake store nearby.... 'Sprinkles'.... The cupcakes are $3.25 EACH and $36.00 a dozen!!!!

MiMi said...

DUDE!!!
Never, EVER, ever, EVER throw out the effin pastries!

Jerry said...

Wow that sucks! I would have stood up for you. Any woman that brings me cupcakes is worth an ass whooping or two.

I have to say I laughed at the awesome use of schlepped and the explanation of "hooptie". =)

Dragonflower said...

This post explains a lot... On 9/13/94 I was walking outside a dorm hall, longing for a bite to eat, when suddenly a box of cupcakes fell from the sky. Wish you'd shared this sooner, would've saved me a couple thousand in psychic readings.

Lady Hill said...

I would have been livid.
I think Will would have been seriously upset but only b/c he didn't get to eat them, not b/c it would have upset me.

What a waste of cupcakes!

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