Thursday, August 5, 2010

Taylor Lautner As Stretch Armstrong


I'm doing some research on Twilight actor Taylor Lautner (more on that another day) and discovered he is slated to portray Stretch Armstrong in a 2012 3-D movie. Wow, what a blast from the past. "Who the heck is Stretch Armstrong?" you young folks are saying... Check it out!

Stretch Monster in all his glory!

Stretch Armstrong Doll From Kenner

In 1976, Kenner released the most ridiculous, yet awesome, over-sized action figure doll targeted to boys. Stretch Armstrong was a tough muscle head guy sporting only a Speedo. He consisted of thick rubber filled with a heavy gel that made him, well, stretch. You could pull on his arms and legs, make them super long, tie him to a chair with his arms or and wrap him in a ball. I liked the way you could play tug-of-war with him and a friend. Still confused? Think macho, flesh-colored Gumby... It was very odd, yet very entertaining at the same time.

I don't know why I remember this toy.  My brother was born that year, so I doubt he had one and we didn't have any cousins at that point. I'm guessing sons of my parents friends had Stretch Armstrong because I remember the distinct plastic rubbery scent and the way the rubber felt. Hmm. I think I even bit Stretch at one point to see what it felt like. I was simply mesmerized by Stretch Armstrong. I truly was.

Gross Stretch X-Ray action figure doll.

Then there was his enemy, Stretch Monster. Stretch Monster was a freakish looking green scaly creature released in 1978 while Stretch Ollie, a blue male octopus and Stretch Olivia, a pink octopus soon joined the Stretch crew. Stretch X-Ray was another ghastly creature which resembled a big-brained alien with a transparent body giving kids a sneak peek at his organs.  GROSS!

Anyway, the point of this post is that for some reason the thought of Taylor Lautner staring in a 3-D film about Stretch Armstrong, makes me giggle.  Anyone?

Please view the Stretch Monster vs. Stretch Armstrong commercial. You've gotta see it! It's from the 1970s and looks so low-budget. It's awesome! It's crazy because I remember that last line the kid yells out, "We'll meet again SHORTEEEEE" ... I remember it because it made me roll around the floor laughing. I was that kind of kid.





25 comments:

MiMi said...

Jacob is HAWT.
That's all I got.

Darlene said...

Mimi said Jacob is hot, but for what its worth, he can't act his way out of a paper bag. Saw him on SNL and he bombed miserably.

In other news, I had a stretch armstrong action figure. I loved that thing more than I ever did my Marie Osmond Barbie Doll.

Hiya Ally...

Carrie said...

Taylore Lautner is so hoootttt! i love him. I can't wait for this movie! it's definitely going to be hit!

http://www.readmylifeascarrie.blogspot.com/

Darlene said...

And by Jacob, I meant Taylor... bleh, sorry Mimi for the mix up. But the paper bag thing still stands, LOL.

Marlene said...

I totally remember Stretch Armstrong.

Excuse me while I go wipe the drool off my chin from having stared at Taylor Lautner's photo for just a minute too long. Tsk....it's a good thing he's 18 now...or I'd be a pervert!

joe said...

I had tons of toys when I was a kid. However Stretch wasn't one of them.
Well, that's okay. I'm not too bitter over it. I'll be fine...

joe said...

... btw, did I ever mention I used to look JUST like Taylor when I was his age??? People tell me that all the time.

Teachinfourth said...

I remember my mom buying one of those at a yard sale years and years ago… I never knew that he had a team, and villains to battle with.

Craziness.

Mamma has spoken said...

When my son played college football he won the Stretch Armstrong award. Even came with the doll of the same name. Him and some of his frat brothers had fun stretching it until it did pop.

1950's_atomic_ranch_house said...

Killed Stretch Armstrong? lol didn't know that was possible. =O

=)

Lady Hill said...

why on earth are they making a movie with Stretch Armstrong?!

Dancing Branflake said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You are way too hilarious! I'd love to think the way you do, just for a day. It'd be a trip!

Christiejolu said...

My cousin had one of those dolls...I agree with MiMi! He is a cutie for sure!

Copyboy said...

For some reason my parents never let me own Stretch. Guess it was an awkward scene with me crying to 'em, begging for a rubber guy in a speedo. No comment about the Taylor selection.

liz said...

I guess it's just me, but I think Taylor has odd facial features, and is too girly to play a character like Stretch.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

This is definitely a memorable one. Looking back, it is an extremely weird "toy." Isn't it? I'm sure Taylor will earn the company millions when they put out a new version in his image. It's just a matter of time.
Be well, my friend.
xoRobyn

Makeupthoughts said...

Hey

Returning the follow...Thanks so much for stopping by :))

Dee

Marianne said...

Thanks for visiting Lucy & I, we're returning the visit.

I'm also a big fan of Judy Blume, those were great books to grow up with!

Lucy's Human
http://lucyshuman.blogspot.com

mandala said...

Following you back! Thanks :)

MageeBaby said...

LOL That's sooo funny!

Visiting and following back from Friday Follow. Thanks so much for stopping by!!!!

Margaret Benbow said...

Stretch Armstrong's Speedos are more modest than Taylor Lautner's jeans. Lautner seemed more appealing in the first Twilight movie, when he was just a nice, normal, covered-up Indian kid.

The Adventures of a Blondie Mommie said...

Great blog! Thanks for following us- following you back!

Angela said...

Thanks for following Mommy Time Out! Following back.

Sada said...

Hilarious! Yeah, we definitely need a feature-length film about an elastic toy from the '70s. Way to go, Hollywood!

Powdered Toast Man said...

That should be an interesting movie. Why does everything have to be in 3-D now?

Damn you Taylor Lautner!!

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