The Good Girl

YESTERDAY'S PROM POST, INSPIRED ME TO RE-POST THIS ENTRY FROM SEPTEMBER 29, 2009 

Unfortunately, I don't have a steady full-time job right now. This means, I've been staying up super late watching reruns on TV. My  newest obsession is watching Roseanne on TV Land from like 12-2:30AM while my husband sleeps.

Ironically the ad running on the TV Land website says, "Survive the Recession with Roseanne" almost as if they know all of us depressed, unemployed folk are sleepless and watching the show for a few laughs and inspiration. If Roseanne and Dan can afford a mortgage and three kids, there has to be hope, right? Honestly though, I truly want to know how Al and Peg Bundy did it on a shoe salesman's salary. Seriously. I doubt I'd even eke out groceries and gas if I had Al's job!

Last night's episode revolved around Dan and Roseanne leaving Becky home alone all day to visit Roseanne's mom in that town that is a long drive from their home in Landford. Becky's alone with her BFF and instead of working on their "Women in the '90s" project, they decide to hit the Conner's liquor cabinet hardcore. Becky mixes up Hurricanes in large tumblers consisting of about 5% root beer and 95% alcohol. The girls get totally sh*tfaced and Becky busts out Roseanne's Moody Blues albums.

I'm sure you've done this at one time or another, well minus the Moody Blues albums. Why haven't I? I can't tell you one time, other than sneaking a few sips of beer at Jeannie's Sweet Sixteen party, that I've ever gotten wasted before going off to college. It hit me while watching Roseanne and Dan scold Becky. Am I really the only person (other than seriously religious kids) that didn't indulge in boozing with friends until about age 18.

The other night's episode focused on Darlene smoking cigs. They go through the whole parental confrontation and I think to myself, why didn't I smoke cigarettes in high school? Everyone else was doing it. I remember thinking the smokers in school were so "tuff" ... They usually wore leather jackets paired with stretch pants and fringe boots. I made sure to steer clear of them. I just find it so difficult to relate to these rebellious kids.

I must have been some weird late bloomer. I mean, who waits until college to pick up smoking?! I bet most kids quit by that time. I remember in 11th grade, spying a pack of Marlboro reds in an open drawer in my brother's room and being shocked. Here was my very own little brother smoking when he was only in seventh grade! Meanwhile, when I was his age, I was busy with my writing assignments for Kidsday/Newsday and working on my Monkees zine.

Was I a nerd? I'm guessing I was. I mean I was really into making out with my high school boyfriend at the time so that has to count for something, no? I'm dying for some street cred here. I hate to think that I missed out on this wild phase that others experienced. I was raised on all of these awesome '80s high school movies where kids who oddly looked much older than me, were smoking "doobies" and passing out drunk. I honestly never thought that was real life.

My rebellion consisted of buzzing part of my head and wearing weird clothes, but unlike Darlene and Becky, my folks never had to punish me or sit me down warning me of the harm in drinking or smoking. Man, I feel like I missed out.