Friday, November 5, 2010

Three Fast Food Meals That Made Me Sick

The other night, my friend professed his love for the McDonald's McRib sandwich. Now, don't think this is a bashing of fast-food. I won't lie, I love the stuff! As a child it was a big deal to visit Burger King or Friendly's. However, his mention of the McRib conjured up memories of one of the worst nights of my life which in turn reminded me of two more awful experiences all having one common denominator ... FAST FOOD! 


Warning: Although I promise not to get graphic, only readers with a strong stomach are encouraged to continue reading.




Night of the McDonald's McRib Sandwich
I have no idea what possessed me to order this at age 9. I've always been a sucker for the latest and greatest offerings at popular casual dining chains. I'm sure Mickey D's was advertising their new McRib which prompted me to try it.  Introduced in 1981 Smothered in BBQ sauce, this boneless rib patty was pure deliciousness and I savored every bite. Hours later, I awoke from a peaceful sleep with the urge to purge. Sadly I didn't make it to the bathroom I shared with my little brother.  Let's just say the hallway stank of putrid regurgitated BBQ sauce for weeks no matter how hard Mom scrubbed. 


Night of the Friendly's Hot Dog
Always craving a tasty wiener, I ordered a Friendly's frank I believe they called it. I remember being very young. I loved every bite of the soft square-shaped bun and the crunch and snap of the hot dog fried to perfection on the flat grill. Sadly as perfectly as I remember the dog going down, I can recall it coming up hours later. Unlike the surprise of the McRib madness, I was unable to sleep with the hot dog laying in my gut like a rock. Obviously that was the last time I ordered the Friendly's Frank. 

All Day Illness from the Bob's Big Boy Breakfast Burrito 
To this day, my mother marvels at the thought of my heinous food selection that day in Florida. While visiting family in the Tampa area, I was excited to try Bob's Big Boy. We didn't have a Bob's that I was aware of while growing up. Now, at this time, Mexican wasn't as popular as it is now, so I myself wonder what went through my mind when I ordered this plate of pure poison disguised in a neatly wrapped floured tortilla. All I can tell you is that I rolled around on the living room floor of my Uncle's house for hours in agony until the sun went down. My aunt came to the rescue with a bottle of Milk of Magnesia.





25 comments:

Kalei's Best Friend said...

Bob's Big Boy makes a breakfast burrito? thought they went out of business? None in Calif... or at least L.A. area... Usually anything fast food isn't too great...

1950's_atomic_ranch_house said...

Bob's Big Boy is alive and well in southern California. =)

Sorry you had bad food memories of these places!!

MiMi said...

ICK. But enjoying a tasty weiner was a fabulous sentence. :)

Ian said...

Bob's Big Boy. The home of whatever the fuck that yellow shit is at the end of the bar...ahh...memories.

Pat Tillett said...

Based on the frequency of these spewing attacks, I'm thinking we should be blaming your stomach and not the food...

Bob's was my favorite restaurant of it's type. It had since been replaced (at least to my inner child) by Ruby's.

Kalei's Best Friend said...

@1950's.at the time I was a kid and ate at Bob's and fast food places.. Now that I know better, I don't... They don't call 'fast food' for nothing... guess if u like McD's so called nuggets that are made out of tendons- and whatever so be it...I just remember the secret sauce of Bob's making me ill. LOL Guess bob's is alive in the real southern areas of Cali.

TS Hendrik said...

That is a risk one takes with fast food. Choosing which restaurant to eat at is in essence picking which orifice you want something coming back out at a later moment.

I never liked the McRib. I thought it always tasted a bit like instant coffee.

Ally said...

I'm seriously not dissing on any of those dining establishments. It could be that they weren't appropriate for young tummies. Who knows!

Kalie - It may have been a special of the month or something. I just know it wasn't a good choice. I think I remember chili on the eggs.

Jessica Warrick said...

oh im so sorry you had to go through those awful experiences with food. Food is like the best thing in the worlda dn i once had a bad run in with some krystals burgers which turned very ugly very fast and last for days.. i think it was food poisoning.

Christopher said...

i'm just surprised to see peaches with the hot dog... doesn't seem to go together

Ally said...

@Christopher that's the new "healthier" combo, when we were kids that dog came with fries!

Mamma has spoken said...

I know what you're talking about. Here it's anything from Taco Hell uhm I meant Bell and any of the chili parlors.

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

i've permanently lost a few menu items to a good barffest, namely fried eggs and chedder cheese ruffles (not together obviously because that would be sick).

also- bob's big boy is definitely still in business in southern california. i know of stores in simi valley, northridge, and another on the way to vegas.

Marlene said...

Aaack!!! Those McRibs are nasty!! Get a Big Mac instead! :)

Babes Mami said...

Your poor stomach! Those all sound awful! I however have a 'fat kid' or 'artery clogging' meal I order from jack in the box sometimes.

Sean said...

Um I actually danced in my living room when I heard the McRib was back

Maria said...

I want to try a McRib, just to see what else this fuss is about... but I haven't eaten at McDonald's in years.

I just don't know if it's worth breaking my no-fast-food fast...

G said...

I don't mind the food at Friendly's, but the service is horrible.

I don't believe I've seen a hot dog on the menu in quite sometime.

Georgina Dollface said...

I once got a bad egg in an Egg McMuffin. I was burping eggy gas all day long until finally I made myself give it up with a good purge. I only eat sausage mcmuffins now, no egg. Other than that, I haven't had too many fast food nightmares. I'll avoid BBB whenever I head south, from now on, thanks to your warning. - G

Cheeseboy said...

This reminds me of the time I once purchased a Gyro from an airport vending machine and learned a valuable lesson: never purchase a gyro from an airport vending machine.

I think I can smell the scent of putrid BBQ sauce puke through my computer.

Caution Flag said...

My friend said the McRib sandwich is exactly what the Detroit Public Schools used to serve in their free lunch program. I guess it's not a good memory maker for her, either!

Wally J said...

This is great!

I just joined as a follower. Please check out my humor blog... never profane, never risque.

www.funooze.com

Thanks!

ISRAEL CARRASCO said...

Do you guys have Tommy's Burgers like we do in L.A? Thats a guaranteed shit fest. BYW check out my blog. I got a heart warming story regarding internet dating.

Blast from the Past said...

Well - I had my first McRib the other day and I have to say that I've always wanted to try it and I expected that I would really love it and could hardly wait to taste it...I was actually very disappointed. It was not very good, and I really think that the pickles did not add to it at all.

I should have just gone ahead and got the Big Mac... it's always good, and I can't ever go wrong with it.

I'll remember that next time...

Sabrina said...

One time when I was young, my aunt took me to the local ice cream shop and I ordered a sundae with peanut butter ice cream and peanut butter sauce on top. Let's just say that it tasted good while I was eating it, but later on...not so much.

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