Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Big Delete

Every day I notice my total number of friends drops a number or two. Most of them are brides I virtually befriended via a wedding website who must now realize a year after their wedding that "quality is more important than quantity" or "the wedding is over and I don't really know ya, so bye-bye."

A nun from grammar school deleted my brother and me. My brother did the unthinkable and confronted her on the big delete. Turns out she de-friended us because as a Mets fan she didn't appreciate his constant pro-Yankees status updates. I got roped in by default for being his sister. In this particular case, I'm a tad relieved because I felt weird having a nun on my page anyway. I'm not exactly religious and I'm rather irreverent at times and was hesitant in "accepting" the request to begin with.

There's a certain feeling that goes along with the big delete. You notice your total number of friends has shifted downward. You go through your 200+ friends wondering who it could be. Maybe it's days or weeks later, then BOOM it hits you like a ton of bricks that you no longer see updates from that chick from your spin class or the guy you slipped your number to in 8th grade. Maybe you're informed on the right side of your screen that everyone's commenting on a photo and suddenly you realize you can't comment. Why not? You've been deleted!

Sometimes it's someone you know personally, a coworker or a friend's sibling. It makes you wonder, "Did I do something wrong?" It's understandable of course if there's a change in the relationship dynamic or if you're no longer working together. Perhaps rumors circulated around the office that spies are reporting fake sick days where folks status updates mentioned they were at the beach. Another common reason for the big delete is the obvious break up. Either you and a friend or significant other had a fall out or your bud dumped someone then insisted you too delete their now ex.

I'm sure I'm not the only person who questions the unavoidable big delete. I can't possibly be the only person who feels a bit strange about it, can I? In fact I once received a very threatening angry email because as a joke I deleted the gf of a then friend of my husband's. She is now a good friend of mine. I deleted her honestly as a joke because she was bombarding the MySpace bulletin board with silly updates. Facebook has the "hide" feature which lets you silence those twittering-style buddies who tend to over-update without hurting their feelings.

Does anyone else out there feel a weird sense of loser-ness upon suffering the big delete? Is there something wrong with me? Just a thought.

As always, thanks for listening.

6 comments:

Christine said...

I am going to delete you from Facebook because of this blog post. Just so you know...

Ally said...

Christine, you can't. I <3 you and your status updates and photos! Don't do it!

RainyDaySaver said...

I rarely look at my "friend count" -- and if someone does delete me, I'll never know unless it's someone I talk to on a regular basis. You just can't keep track of 200+ people (well, at least I can't).

Jennifer said...

Since we were talking about this the other day, i totally agree (though i admit i recently went through and deleted people).

Sadly i think my hubby is the only one that keeps track of his friends ist...he has a spreadsheet of the almost 500 people on it and when there's even one missing, he goes back to figure it out LOL.

dina said...

I keep seeing my total number shrink... apparently I suffered at the hands of another friend deleter today!

I have no theories as to why this happens. Maybe my "normal" friends look at the queer marketing updates, aimed at online coaches and such, and grow disgusted. Maybe the coaches see me goofing around with "normal people" and decide I'm below them.

I don't know, there is no way I would possibly be able to weed through my list and make a determination. I do like the list of possibilities that you've presented here. Ex friend of an ex boyfriend... stuff like that... entirely possible.

I just ate a random leftover pork sparerib and I feel kind of sick. Take care, Ally, and keep bloggin'.

don't do it said...

I welcome the big delete! Come on people, delete me, I dare you!!

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