Friday, April 30, 2010

Teen Sex Talk: Getting To First Base

You may recall my back of the bus in fifth grade confession a few weeks ago... I didn't even touch, um, a base, but I will admit that was my first actual encounter with sexy stuff. 

Today, I've decided to jog your memory regarding the "bases" as you may have since forgotten the innocence, or perhaps not so innocence of young love. To keep you coming back for more, I will cover one base each day. You don't want to miss this juicy refresher course.

As always, I need to bare all, er, reveal secrets since you know how candid I can be. 

Attention family members: If for some insane reason, you are reading this--please pretend you aren't and that you've stumbled upon a locked diary and we shall never discuss your new-found knowledge of my young adult antics. Thanks!

First Base: Defined as basically kissing, this can include open-mouth kissing also known as "French Kissing". Personally, I don't understand where this colloquial term came from. Why is a tongue kiss a "French" kiss? Wiki says in France, an open-mouth kiss is referred to as a "baiser amoureux" (love kiss) or "baiser avec la langue" (kiss with the tongue). Who knew?

My "First Base" Experience: Honestly, I somehow managed to score many kisses growing up. More so than I have in my married life. Hubs isn't really into kissing. No lie. I'm telling you this because it's difficult for me to pinpoint my very first smooch. 

When: My most memorable kiss was on Friday, January 18, 1985 age 12
Where: It took place in the church balcony during a Boy Scouts meeting. 
With Whom & How: The boy was a classmate and crush named Eddie. The Boy Scout meeting was in our church basement. How we ended up three floors up from the meeting, I can't really answer that. Why was I even at a Boy Scouts meeting? I vaguely recall tagging along because my little brother was at that meeting.

As proof that this kiss actually occurred, below is is my diary entry. Enjoy! I apparently did!

Friday, January 18, 1985
Tonight was the very best night of my life. Eddie and I made out for 2 whole minutes upstairs in the meeting room (aka church balcony stairwell). He kisses the best. He even gave me chapped lips because he kept biting my lip. He even put his tongue in my mouth!

I'm confused as to how a "nibbled lip" is equivalent to "chapped", but I guess at age 12 it made sense. Sadly, in typical boy fashion, according to the next few diary entries, Eddie ignored me in school after the hot and heavy kissing action.  We had off that Monday for Martin Luther King Day, but by Tuesday he wanted to let me know that just because of what transpired, we weren't boyfriend-girlfriend. By Wednesday, he was trying to make me jealous by flirting with other chicks in the class. Whatever for Eddie.


Cheeseboy said...

In a church?! Bless you.

Copyboy said...

All this talk of bases...I need to take a cold shower. I gotta admit my base-running has been a bit weak since being married. As Jerry S. said, "No awkward pauses." Very cool post :)

Ally said...

Cheese, forgive me. I know it sounds bad, but it's not as if there was mass actually going on and the stairway didn't seem like the actual church.

Hi Jesse :P

Krista said...

Boys should just go into some sort of coma - like a hybernation of sorts - for a few years, until their brains develop. Eddie was a creep and he didn't deserve you! Ha!

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

The setting (balcony of a church during a boyscout meeting) couldn't be more idyllic. As far as him playing it down and dissing you afterward, some things (like, I don't know, the male species) never change.

Sara Louise said...

I love these posts when you let us back into adolescence, they make me chuckle and cringe at the same time (the cringing is usually induced by a memory that pops into my head). Oh the cringing!

Ms. Anthropy said...

What position did you play?

Marlene said...

I like Krista's suggestion...heehee. (Do their brains EVER develop, though?)

MiMi said...

Bahahaha!! I'm just imagining what it probably really looked like up there!
Probably NOT very sexy, huh? Like a couple of drunk monkeys? Oh hell. I'm just jealous cuz I never got to make out with a boy for 2 whole minutes!

MoonDoggie said...

You really should write a novel diary based on these experiences. I used to love reading books that were set out as diaries.
I agree - Whatever, Eddie!

ScoMan said...

You accidentally posted second base first didn't you? It came up in my reader, but when I clicked on it it was gone.

Well, I can wait.

I thought you were doing well to remember the date, but I guess your diary helped.

And in a church, on a stairwell, no wonder it was memorable.

Chrissy said...

A kiss in the church? Somehow, I just don't think I would of had a first kiss there... lol....

Joe Cap said...

I though first base was only 'touching' I am a little scared what the rest of the bases are like. I am soooo out of touch!

Melissa said...

Good times with Eddie in the church balcony!!! Hot and steamy for real!

Ian said...

Friday Follow?

Kathie @ Just a Happy Housewife said...

hi there, I have an award for you!

Kathie @ Just a Happy Housewife said...

p.s. I did read your post, just had to make sure you knew of your award.

I was definitely a late bloomer when it came to first base...really late bloomer.

LaraAnn said...

I never did any of those things as a teen- I didn't even have a boyfriend until I was 21.

Lisa Marie said...

I am glad I am not the only one that got a little action at a church!!!
lol when I think of seocnd base I think of
"tune in Tokyo"

Caution Flag said...

Eddie was a jerk!

My husband isn't into kissing either. Then again, maybe a little more active brushing prior to a kiss would make me happier. By brushing, I do mean teeth.

TS Hendrik said...

Haha, no I hadn't read this before I made that twitter comment. Funny timing though.

Tsk, you catholics... lol

I once played tennis in a church's basement. Got in trouble for it too since it was "distracting from the pastor's preaching." or something ike that.

TS Hendrik said...

Haha, no I hadn't read this before I made that twitter comment. Funny timing though.

Tsk, you catholics... lol

I once played tennis in a church's basement. Got in trouble for it too since it was "distracting from the pastor's preaching." or something ike that.

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

2 WHOLE minutes?! I love it!!!

I met a boy on vacation and we made out and then wrote letters back and forth for 2 more years!!

I saw him when we were way older and he ended up gay!!

He was such a great 1st real boyfriend, plus he wrote great letters!!!

Jerry said...

Wow in a church no less. You are risque aren't you?

Tracie said...

I went to church with a cute boy and longed for him to kiss me. Never happened. Thank goodness I don't have any lovelorn diaries to remind me of my angst!

Michelle Pixie said...

If you could only go back and tell your 12 years old self that Eddie's behavior is what all boys do so you didn't have to fret over it! ;-)

My first "memorable" kiss was in Kindergarten. I was in love with the babysitter's son who was younger than me and we were inseperable. Apparently his brother who was also a Kindergartner was jealous and locked his brother out in the backyard and took me out front behind the bushes so we could get our kissing on...I was a little tramp back then!

cheeky curves said...

Interesting post, memories ar both funny and embarrassing, my fist kiss, dont even want to go there

blueviolet said...

2 minute makeout session! LOL

I grew up thinking first base was hand holding. Thusly, I was probably termed a whore when I was using the wrong base in relaying my special moments!

Joann Mannix said...

Ally, you're so great and brave. I really love that you bare your secrets for all of our entertainment needs. What a great diary post.

I was slow to the kissing, since I went to a Catholic school up until 9th grade and I was incredibly naive.

I've commented before that my first kiss was from a guy that I'm pretty sure now is homeless by choice. The first time he TRIED to kiss me I was horrified that he was trying to stick his tongue in my mouth. He had to explain the whole process to me.

I seemed to make up for lost time after that but let me be clear, I didn't stick with the homeless guy.

I'm a Mom said...

Great blog! Bases are a lot different these days, according to my teens. Scary thought!

Thanks for the follow, following you back.

Jacki (I'm a Mom)

What's a Mom to Do?

Diary of a Fat Chick

My Health Quest

Powdered Toast Man said...

A whole 2 minutes!?!!? That's awesome!! At least you were getting action that young, I didn't have my first kiss til my late teens.

FabuLeslie said...

OHMYGOODNESS! I teach first grade and recently found my old diary. I read it cover to cover and decided I should write some posts from it. But I'm too scared to share. Maybe reading your tales will embolden me. Here's hoping! Thanks for the stories.

nikki said...

smoochin' in the church. You badass.

Teresa @ ♥ TOO MANY HEARTBEATS ♥ said...

Oh gosh, this definitely brings back a lot of memories! My first kiss was at church, too! We were standing right outside the Nursery window of the church one Wednesday night after the service was over. It was pretty dark, so I don't think anyone saw us. Unfortunately though, like Eddie, I never heard from him again.

Most of my closest friends were at church when I was growing up. We spent a major part of our time in church. THEREFORE, most of the 'action' was at church or at church related events. Looking back, I am definitely ashamed of my behavior but back then we thought we were just having a little fun.

Teresa <><


Making out for two minutes in a church stairwell - Isn't that called 'Two Minutes In Heaven'?

Is that the wrong game?


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